I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
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