Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
