Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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