do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
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