nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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