I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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