Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
