Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Woman Using Lunch Break To Find Another Job Gets Hilariously Snitched On By The Local News
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
28 ‘Thanks For Coming To My Ted Talk Tweets’ Funnier And More Informative Than An Actual Ted Talk
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's