so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat