Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.