Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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