So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
We left an ass print on the piano.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
