i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Boobs speak an international language.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
