M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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