She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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