I can feel you judging me through the phone.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
