just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
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