K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize