next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
