It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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