and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Randomize
