I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
