When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I enjoy the company of your penis
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize