There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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