I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Randomize
