never play flip cup with pint glasses
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
