I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
