Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
