i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I forgot how hot balto sounded
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
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