You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize
