She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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