My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
