Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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