i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I think people are normalizing furries
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
