There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
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