she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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