oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
