there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
should my penis look like a turkey
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
