Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
he high fived his dick after we had sex
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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