I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Randomize
