I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Randomize