I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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