So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
