I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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