I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
someone owes me an orgasm
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I'm both gender and math confused
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
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