I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
How does it feel to date your dad?
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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