I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
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