people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize