do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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