i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
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