; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
