How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
