using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
