dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
