We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
So many bounce houses so little time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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