My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
