ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
