wanna go halves on a baby?
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize