There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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